Hello children,


I have received this piece of writing from a pupil who wants help to improve it.


Can you give them any ideas?


One day I was walking home across the park I saw something in front of me. I did not know what it was. It seemed to be some sort of animal. I decided to keep walking passed it with my head down. As I walked directly passed my foot accidently hit the beast and it let out a long growl. I looked down and the beast started to get up. It was clearly in a bad mood because I woken it from its slumber. It looked me straight in the eyes. It was a minotaur!


Let me know what advice you have to give the writer to improve this paragraph.


(Tip - be as polite and diplomatic as you can be when you respond.)


Thanks for your help!


Mr Heskin :)