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Shenley Road, Woodhall Farm, Hemel Hempstead, Herts. HP2 7JZ
Tel: 01442 253189 | Email: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

1 minute reading time (155 words)

Miss Farren's Class Writing Blog 2018

Hello children, 

I have received this piece of writing from a pupil who wants help to improve it. 

Can you give them any ideas? 

One day I was walking home across the park I saw something in front of me. I did not know what it was. It seemed to be some sort of animal. I decided to keep walking passed it with my head down. As I walked directly passed my foot accidently hit the beast and it let out a long growl. I looked down and the beast started to get up. It was clearly in a bad mood because I woken it from its slumber. It looked me straight in the eyes. It was a minotaur!

Let me know what advice you have to give the writer to improve this paragraph.

(Tip - be as polite and diplomatic as you can be when you respond.)

Thanks for your help!

Mr Heskin :)

Mrs Tredwell's Class Writing Blog 2018
Mr Heskin's Class Writing Blog 2018
 

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Saturday, 26 May 2018

Our Location

Our Address:
Holtsmere End Junior School
Shenley Road,
Woodhall Farm,
Hemel Hempstead,
Hertfordshire.
HP2 7JZ
Telephone:
01442 253189
Email:
This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.


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