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Shenley Road, Woodhall Farm, Hemel Hempstead, Herts. HP2 7JZ
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Mrs Shaw's Class Book review

Hello,

I read a great book over the Easter break. It was called Odd and the Frost Giants. It was written by the author Neil Gaiman who has written other great books like Stardust, Coroline and The Wolves and the Walls. 

It is about Odd the Viking boy who has run away from home, even though he can barely walk and has to use a crutch. Alone in the forest, he encounters a bear, a fox and an eagle, each of whom has a strange story to tell. They need Odd's help to save the city of Asgard from the Frost Giants who have invaded it. 

It was very exciting, had excellent illustrations by Brett Helquist and really cool dialogue. 

Did you read anything over the holidays or could you recommend a good book? What can you tell me about the story, the characters, the descriptions or the dialogue? 

Mr Heskin

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  1078 Hits
  0 Comments

Miss Farren's Class Book review

Hello,

I read a great book over the Easter break. It was called Odd and the Frost Giants. It was written by the author Neil Gaiman who has written other great books like Stardust, Coroline and The Wolves and the Walls. 

It is about Odd the Viking boy who has run away from home, even though he can barely walk and has to use a crutch. Alone in the forest, he encounters a bear, a fox and an eagle, each of whom has a strange story to tell. They need Odd's help to save the city of Asgard from the Frost Giants who have invaded it. 

It was very exciting, had excellent illustrations by Brett Helquist and really cool dialogue. 

Did you read anything over the holidays or could you recommend a good book? What can you tell me about the story, the characters, the descriptions or the dialogue? 

Mr Heskin

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  1094 Hits
  0 Comments

Mrs Tredwell's Class Book review

Hello,

I read a great book over the Easter break. It was called Odd and the Frost Giants. It was written by the author Neil Gaiman who has written other great books like Stardust, Coroline and The Wolves and the Walls. 

It is about Odd the Viking boy who has run away from home, even though he can barely walk and has to use a crutch. Alone in the forest, he encounters a bear, a fox and an eagle, each of whom has a strange story to tell. They need Odd's help to save the city of Asgard from the Frost Giants who have invaded it. 

It was very exciting, had excellent illustrations by Brett Helquist and really cool dialogue. 

Did you read anything over the holidays or could you recommend a good book? What can you tell me about the story, the characters, the descriptions or the dialogue? 

Mr Heskin

Continue reading
  946 Hits
  0 Comments

Mr Heskin's Class Book review

Hello,

I read a great book over the Easter break. It was called Odd and the Frost Giants. It was written by the author Neil Gaiman who has written other great books like Stardust, Coroline and The Wolves and the Walls. 

It is about Odd the Viking boy who has run away from home, even though he can barely walk and has to use a crutch. Alone in the forest, he encounters a bear, a fox and an eagle, each of whom has a strange story to tell. They need Odd's help to save the city of Asgard from the Frost Giants who have invaded it. 

It was very exciting, had excellent illustrations by Brett Helquist and really cool dialogue. 

Did you read anything over the holidays or could you recommend a good book? What can you tell me about the story, the characters, the descriptions or the dialogue? 

Mr Heskin

 

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  1037 Hits
  0 Comments

Mrs Shaw's Class Writing Blog 2018

Hello children, 

I have received this piece of writing from a pupil who wants help to improve it. 

Can you give them any ideas? 

One day I was walking home across the park I saw something in front of me. I did not know what it was. It seemed to be some sort of animal. I decided to keep walking passed it with my head down. As I walked directly passed my foot accidently hit the beast and it let out a long growl. I looked down and the beast started to get up. It was clearly in a bad mood because I woken it from its slumber. It looked me straight in the eyes. It was a minotaur!

Let me know what advice you have to give the writer to improve this paragraph.

(Tip - be as polite and diplomatic as you can be when you respond.)

Thanks for your help!

Mr Heskin :)

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Recent Comments
Guest — Alfie and charlie
A great piece of writing , you can include : 1) Describe the Minators features e.g.(face, eyes, horns and fangs) Its eyes glared ... Read More
Monday, 26 March 2018 15:02
Guest — Tyrell and David
I really liked your story,the minotaur was my favourite part.However, you could add in a few more things.A simile would be good in... Read More
Monday, 26 March 2018 15:02
  1275 Hits
  2 Comments

Mrs Tredwell's Class Writing Blog 2018

Hello children, 

I have received this piece of writing from a pupil who wants help to improve it. 

Can you give them any ideas? 

One day I was walking home across the park I saw something in front of me. I did not know what it was. It seemed to be some sort of animal. I decided to keep walking passed it with my head down. As I walked directly passed my foot accidently hit the beast and it let out a long growl. I looked down and the beast started to get up. It was clearly in a bad mood because I woken it from its slumber. It looked me straight in the eyes. It was a minotaur!

Let me know what advice you have to give the writer to improve this paragraph.

(Tip - be as polite and diplomatic as you can be when you respond.)

Thanks for your help!

Mr Heskin :)

Continue reading
Recent Comments
Guest — Ryan
You could make some changes like adjectives or verbs for that and if you it to be even better. ... Read More
Tuesday, 27 March 2018 14:54
Guest — Alex
It is a very good piece of work but it needs more Fronted adverbials like Suddenly , However and more puncuations like ; ',/[]. :... Read More
Tuesday, 27 March 2018 14:54
Guest — Zak
WOW! That was a good piece of writing. I loved the tension leading up to the minotaur. I think it could get better by changing the... Read More
Tuesday, 27 March 2018 14:54
  1008 Hits
  4 Comments

Miss Farren's Class Writing Blog 2018

Hello children, 

I have received this piece of writing from a pupil who wants help to improve it. 

Can you give them any ideas? 

One day I was walking home across the park I saw something in front of me. I did not know what it was. It seemed to be some sort of animal. I decided to keep walking passed it with my head down. As I walked directly passed my foot accidently hit the beast and it let out a long growl. I looked down and the beast started to get up. It was clearly in a bad mood because I woken it from its slumber. It looked me straight in the eyes. It was a minotaur!

Let me know what advice you have to give the writer to improve this paragraph.

(Tip - be as polite and diplomatic as you can be when you respond.)

Thanks for your help!

Mr Heskin :)

Continue reading
  512 Hits
  0 Comments

Mr Heskin's Class Writing Blog 2018

Hello children,

 

I have received this piece of writing from a pupil who wants help to improve it.

 

Can you give them any ideas?

 

One day I was walking home across the park I saw something in front of me. I did not know what it was. It seemed to be some sort of animal. I decided to keep walking passed it with my head down. As I walked directly passed my foot accidently hit the beast and it let out a long growl. I looked down and the beast started to get up. It was clearly in a bad mood because I woken it from its slumber. It looked me straight in the eyes. It was a minotaur!

 

Let me know what advice you have to give the writer to improve this paragraph.

 

(Tip - be as polite and diplomatic as you can be when you respond.)

 

Thanks for your help!

 

Mr Heskin :)

Continue reading
  494 Hits
  0 Comments

Miss Mustafa's class, please peer assess this piece of writing.

Hello children,

I have received this piece of writing from a pupil who wants help to improve it.

Can you give them any ideas?

One day I was walking home across the park I saw something in front of me. I did not know what it was. It seemed to be some sort of animal. I decided to keep walking passed it with my head down. As I walked directly passed my foot accidently hit the beast and it let out a long growl. I looked down and the beast started to get up. It was clearly in a bad mood because I woken it from its slumber. It looked me straight in the eyes. It was a Minotaur!

Let me know what advice you have to give the writer to improve this paragraph.

(Tip - be as polite and diplomatic as you can be when you respond.)

Thanks for your help!

Mr Heskin :)

Continue reading
Recent Comments
Guest — Keelan Barrett
maybe you can change walking with strolling
Wednesday, 23 March 2016 14:55
Guest — DANIEL
This was a good piece of writing try and use commas instead of loads of full stops!!!!!!!!... Read More
Wednesday, 23 March 2016 15:00
Guest — ARCHIE
This is a good try why not try to use a simile? E.g.as i was walking as slow as slug
Wednesday, 23 March 2016 15:06
  2156 Hits
  3 Comments

Mr Heskin's class, please peer assess this piece of writing.

Hello children,

I have received this piece of writing from a pupil who wants help to improve it.

Can you give them any ideas?

One day I was walking home across the park I saw something in front of me. I did not know what it was. It seemed to be some sort of animal. I decided to keep walking passed it with my head down. As I walked directly passed my foot accidently hit the beast and it let out a long growl. I looked down and the beast started to get up. It was clearly in a bad mood because I woken it from its slumber. It looked me straight in the eyes. It was a Minotaur!

Let me know what advice you have to give the writer to improve this paragraph.

(Tip - be as polite and diplomatic as you can be when you respond.)

Thanks for your help!

Mr Heskin :)

Continue reading
Recent Comments
Guest — Corey Wilson
Well done! You could improve the writing by including dashes and describing how you felt EG. I saw the minotaur- a shiver fell dow... Read More
Tuesday, 22 March 2016 14:52
Guest — Corey Wilson
Also try to include more adventorous vocabulary EG. One sunny Saturday morning, I was strolling down my local park until... A di... Read More
Tuesday, 22 March 2016 15:04
Guest — HaadiyaH & NigelaaM
Incredible piece of work!!! Next time try and add a co-ordinating conjunction and similes to have a range of sentences and make ... Read More
Tuesday, 22 March 2016 15:13
  2626 Hits
  4 Comments

Mr Smyth's class, please peer assess this piece of writing.

Hello Children,

 

I have received this piece of writing from a pupil who wants help to improve it.

Can you give them any ideas?

 

One day I was walking home across the park I saw something in front of me. I did not know what it was. It seemed to be some sort of animal. I decided to keep walking passed it with my head down. As I walked directly passed my foot accidently hit the beast and it let out a long growl. I looked down and the beast started to get up. It was clearly in a bad mood because I woken it from its slumber. It looked me straight in the eyes. It was a minotaur!

 

Let me know what advice you have to give the writer to improve this paragraph.

(Tip - be as polite and diplomatic as you can be when you respond.)

 

Thanks for your help!

 

Mr Heskin :)

Continue reading
Recent Comments
Guest — Jakub K
Great piece of writing! I think you could improve it by describing the minotaur more. Like saying how it moves and what colour it ... Read More
Monday, 14 March 2016 14:53
Guest — Dylan kocel
an amazing piece of work but I think you could improve it by adding expanded noun phrase( many on the you could expand on the pa... Read More
Thursday, 17 March 2016 15:11
Guest — Natasha m and Olivia m in year 6.
We think your writing was really good but there is room for improvement. There are many things you can add to it, like fronted adv... Read More
Thursday, 17 March 2016 15:12
  2289 Hits
  5 Comments

Miss Grimer's class, please peer assess this piece of writing.

Hello children, 

 

I have received this piece of writing from a pupil who wants help to improve it. 

 

Can you give them any ideas? 

 

One day I was walking home across the park I saw something in front of me. I did not know what it was. It seemed to be some sort of animal. I decided to keep walking passed it with my head down. As I walked directly passed my foot accidently hit the beast and it let out a long growl. I looked down and the beast started to get up. It was clearly in a bad mood because I woken it from its slumber. It looked me straight in the eyes. It was a minotaur!

 

Let me know what advice you have to give the writer to improve this paragraph.

 

(Tip - be as polite and diplomatic as you can be when you respond.)

 

Thanks for your help!

 

Mr Heskin :)

Continue reading
Recent Comments
Guest — Shreeharsh and Ross
Nice piece of writing Mr Heskin. Why don't you try to improve to make it even more better! ... Read More
Monday, 14 March 2016 14:46
Guest — Shreeharsh and Ross
Great piece of writing! Why not try to avoid repetition to make it even better! ... Read More
Monday, 14 March 2016 14:50
Guest — Charles and Jakub
well done that is a great piece of advice
Monday, 21 March 2016 13:57
  3485 Hits
  22 Comments

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Our Address:
Holtsmere End Junior School
Shenley Road,
Woodhall Farm,
Hemel Hempstead,
Hertfordshire.
HP2 7JZ
Telephone:
01442 253189
Email:
This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.


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